James 1:5-8 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and He will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. 6. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. 7 Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.
This verse got me to thinking about when I was a people pleas-er to a fault. God could not help me... I was not depending on Him... I was depending on myself to please people and depending on them to validate my worth as a person by liking me. I lived in constant anxiety... constant!! To the point where I begin to stay at home more and more and more. After all if I was not around people I couldn't displease them could I!!! Staying home didn't help I needed people's approval!! I didn't have my trust in God, I had put my trust in people. Even though I wanted to please God my loyalty was was divided. I was being tossed by the wind. I felt completely unstable! I was unstable. I was a mess.
Then John-Robert (my son) gave me my One Year Bible...and I began to read it every day. How can you not when you son gives you a One Year Bible all laid out day by day. As I read it..those words began to change me. I started becoming a God pleas-er not a people pleas-er. I still love to please people, it makes me happy...but not at the expense of doing something that would not please God. My anxiety is pretty much gone...at least in this area of my life. I don't feel the weight of the world anymore... I feel joy!! I am amazed by life!!! I know that I have value because God loves me!! God made me.. He is not surprised by me... He forgives me when I mess up... God loves ME! So if a person doesn't like me that is okay because my value is measured by God. God thinks I am wonderfully made!!
I do still have anxiety sometimes... this passage tells me that when I feel that anxiety I need to ask myself, "Where is my loyalty divided? Who or what am I depending on besides God?"
I can look back at a recent time when I was worried about one of my children...I wanted to "fix it" for them. They are both adults now... very capable of making their own decisions. My anxiety came because I wanted to fix their problem. And when I look back the anxiety left when I turned them over to God. When I gave what I say as a problem to God and not to me and God.
I need this passage to drop down into my soul...deep and rooted... If it take me writing it over and over and over again. I need to always be aware that my anxiety is a "caution sign" that I have not given something to God completely.
God is growing me every day... and I love the changes taking place in my spirit, in my mind, in my world. I feel so very blessed!!