Mark 6:52b-52 They (the disciples) were totally amazed, for they still didn't understand the significance of the miracles of the loaves (and the fish). Their hearts were too hard to take it in.
I read this and remembered when I first started reading my One Year Bible. For weeks it was like reading a foreign language. But my son had given me this Bible and I was determined to read it every day. Then I would come to a passage that I recognized... it would be like water in the middle of the desert, a relief. Little did I know that my effort and my determination would make my heart soften. Slowly, but surely, I began to understand a little more...then a little more... then a little more. With each little bit of understanding my heart became a little softer, able to take in more of what God had to tell me!!
I could feel guilty over having a hard heart... making my heart a little harder in the process. But as I wrote these words in my notebook today I stopped to think... These men had been with Jesus for a while now...they had witnessed many miracles... at this point they had even been sent out to perform miracles and preach on their own. They had actually walked with Jesus, in person. They had touched him, physically touched him. They had even just seen him walk on water. Yet their hearts were still hard... too hard to take it in. But Jesus still called them his disciples!! Why? Because they were learning and growing... their hearts were getting softer all the time. One day they would look back on the miracle of the loaves and totally understand it. Their willingness to follow Jesus, their willingness to listen and learn was softening their hearts for a later understanding.
Each day, each week, each year as I keep reading and seeking after God, trusting in what Jesus taught, my heart gets softer, I gain more and more understanding. I am always amazed when I pick up my Bible and "get" something new from the same words I read last year and the year before that, and the year before that. My willingness andmy determination will soften my heart... it will just take time. I have until my death to keep learning and growing in God. God promised me and you in His word that he would grow us until the day Jesus comes back (Philippians 1:6).
In Matthew Jesus talks of of the disciples being in Heaven with him... They believed in Jesus, they loved Him, they learned from Him. Their hearts were changing and getting softer by the day. If we seek after Jesus, if we long to understand...then understanding will come to us, our hearts will get softer. It is our job to seek to understand...then the rest will come.