Proverbs 29:25 Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety.
I use to fear people really bad!! I feared their moods mostly! It was something I learned growing up. But I carried it into my adulthood. Looking back I can see how directly that fear effected each and every decision I made in my life. Funny it can make you extremely cautious and extremely reckless all at the same time. Mostly I was extremely cautious... if I was good enough I could put people back in a good mood... or keep them in one, I would think. Then sometimes I would think, thank goodness not too often, what the heck I can never be good enough anyway!!
Thankfully God sent me Robby.. who is pretty even about everything... he can get in grumpy moods but they don't effect his action too much at all. He never gets too excited or too upset. Funny though that can be hard to adjust to. But that evenness about Robby makes life really peaceful and I love that!!
The wonderful thing about God is that He is always the same... His promises are forever promises. He spells everything out leaving no room for us to miss understand. And when we learn to put His actions and words in context with His love for us, we begin to see the rules He sets out for our lives are all in our best interest. God always has our best interest at heart. He is never selfish. He watches out for us constantly. And we can trust that when we choose what God would want over what people want we can know that God will keep us safe!!
There are lots of things in my childhood that taught me to be a people pleas er. I think my mom was taught to be a people pleas er herself. When we go about trying to please all people we are going to fail! It is a no win situation...that brings about anxiety and panic... it brings on a feeling of failure. It is very readable in a person and often people take advantage of those traits in a person. People pleasing can really create a downward spiral that spins out of control.
I am learning that God is the answer to that!! He is the answer to everything...but I am telling you for me this is one of the biggest things loving Him has helped me with. When you are a people pleas-er there is always 100 right answers that are also wrong answers. What anxiety!!! With God there is right answers and there is wrong answers. When I go to please God I get to mark lots and lots and lots of things off my list of possible "right" answers. That eliminates so much of my anxiety right off. Then if there are a few answers left...I ask myself this question... "If I say yes to this, will it make me later act in a way that would make God unhappy?" If the answer is yes...I feel so free to say no. What I mean by that is... if somebody ask me to do something and I want to say yes to please them...and I know that it would not be against God to do so.... I look down the road and think will this later make me frustrated or maybe even angry at this person because I told them yes? If that answer is yes...then I am able to say no. After all at this point I have the choice...and I choose to be sweet and kind and loving later on by saying no now. I am learning that when I choose to please God over people that He protects me! Even if people don't like what I have to say...they respect my decision. I get to go home and sleep good because I have not done something that made me live in a state of frustration for weeks. Starting with the second I said yes to something I needed or wanted to say no to. And too I am learning that those times when I want to say no...and God prompts me to say yes, He makes it all work out and I find myself happy in what I am doing.
I always have a choice...I can choose to be a prisoner of trying to please others. Or I can be a loving, kind and sweet person that chooses to please God. If I choose the first I live in turmoil.. when I choose the second I find peace and rest. Amazing peace and rest!!
The best way to choose ourselves is by choosing God... because God has our best interest at heart always!! The best way to choose others is choosing God...because God always has their best interest at heart too. Even if somebody doesn't understand it at the moment I am choosing them when I choose God.