My Thoughts
I love this verse... my first time through the Bible it frustrated me a bit, not a bit, it bother me a whole bunch!!! This year is my fourth time through the Bible and I see this verse so differently now. Praise God that I do. Today when I read this I thought, "When I am grumbling and complaining I have my eyes on everything but God, when I have my eyes on God not even the pain in my body matters very much at all."
Yesterday was a good example of this, so reading this verse today was very timely. Wednesday night we were talking about healing in Church, I remember feeling so blessed that God had healed me of depression, anxiety and panic over Lupus. Lupus has never done to me what depression, anxiety and panic did! Then I woke up yesterday with such pain in my feet that I could hardly walk, Lupus can cause arthritis and the arthritis in all the joints in my feet was acting up like crazy. When I got back to my bed from making it to the bathroom, I smiled, I actually smiled. Why because I thought that this pain was not a big deal at all, God had my back, He would take care of me and I was not sad, I didn't panic, I was not anxious, I was blessed! I looked around me and felt so blessed that God had provided me with Lemongrass oil for my feet, a warm blanket to wrap them in... in a cool home on a hot morning. I felt wonderfully at peace and God allowed me to drift back off to sleep with a smile on my face and when I woke back up my feet were much better, with only a little pain.
Yesterday I had my eyes on God!! I didn't grumble and complain and get all caught up in self pity. I just kept my eyes on God. As I did this my day got better, my pain got better, but most importantly my spirits stayed high, I felt good in spite of pain. That is a huge victory. A gift straight from God!
I have in the past wallered in self pity. Spent the day feeling sorry for myself. Spend the day with my eyes on me, on this world and what I couldn't do... and all that did was intensify my pain because my mind was magnifying my pain instead of magnifying God.
I have learned a great lesson. God is growing me, making me more and more aware. When I grumble and complain I magnify my troubles, when I keep my eye on God I magnify Him, making Him so much bigger than my troubles that I barely see my troubles at all. God healed me of anxiety, panic and depression so that I see beyond the minute, so that I could see beyond myself, so I could see beyond the world, so that I could see Him and all the love He has for me. What a wonderful gift of healing He gave me. This gift strengthens my faith beyond measure... and gives me hope like I didn't know was possible. I am blessed. I am loved, I am happy.
Do I believe that God can heal my earthly body? Yes I do!! If God doesn't heal my body do I think He does not love me? No! God loves me so very much. God has a new body waiting for me in heaven that will be so much grander than this body healed or not healed. God has done for me what was necessary, He got me to Him, He put me in the hands of people that build me up, He put his word in my hand in a way that would get me to read it, He gave me wisdom because I seek it, just like He promises he will. He is teaching me to keep my eyes on Him no matter what comes my way. Those are the important things! Lupus is secondary or even less than that, and when I get healing in my body that will be just icing on the cake. When it happens I will celebrate and give God all the glory. While I wait on God's timing I will embrace the lessons I am learning, I will be thankful for all that I have and know that all that I have is a gift straight from God. And I will trust that God knows what is best for me. I will fix my gaze on things that can not be seen. Today I know that I am blessed, I am loved. Today I am so very thankful for all that God has done for me! Today my hope knows no limits! Wow!
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