8.16.13

Psalms 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.



My Thoughts

I love this verse!! Because God rescued me when my spirit was crushed!! I have had anxiety disorder as far back as I can remember. My mom use to tell me the story of when she would send me off the the first grade, there was no K-5 in those days. I walked to school, we all did. And many, many days, just when my mom felt that she could settle down that I was all safe in my class, my little hand would knock on the back door because I had been unable to walk into school.

That anxiety never went away...and eventually turned into panic at times. I had no tools in my toolbox to deal with it. Then at 40 I found out that I had Lupus and eventually Fybromylgia developed to go along with the Lupus. Then a couple of years after that my mom got sick. Between the constant pain and exhaustion and flairs.... and taking care of my mom, who needed to be taken care of but didn't want to be taken care of (not a 24 hour things she always lived on her on.). And add in the anxiety an panic I slowly ended up a prisoner of my house... of myself. I would only leave the house to take care of my mom and go to Hobby Lobby unless Robby was with me. Sweet Robby even bought groceries on Sunday.
Then an amazing thing happened, my son gave me a One Year Bible and I began to read it. I would write something on my FB page so he would know I had read it for the day. Little did I know that that writing would help me understand so much of what I was reading!! And my life began to change in amazing ways. After being "saved" since I was 9, I finally began to know God, to really know Him. Those words in my Bible that at first almost seemed like a foreign luggage began to make sense. Then I met a girl at the doctor that invited me to Bible Study...and I went! Oh I cried, trembled with fear each time I opened my mouth the first few months. Now they probably, sometimes wish they could shut me up....and tone down my excitement just a bit. Those sweet ladies have surrounded me and grown me...and I have even grown them!! God put me in the arms of loving believers because He rescues the people with crushed spirits!!


Now I have to leave for church early so I will have time to hug all the people I need to hug... to make sure that people feel loved, because feeling loved is so important. Now I eat lunch with friends and buy groceries. Now I can be seen praying with strangers in Wal-Mart if I am given half the chance. Now I don't have anxiety... sometimes it tries to creep in and I fight it with the words of God!! Even in situations where almost anybody might have anxiety I find myself having none. Each time I am amazed and I know, without a doubt that that is a God thing!!


See why this verse means so much to me!! It is me... I am one of the people that God rescued who's spirit was crushed. And if you met me now you would be shocked to hear my story!! Especially if you knew it all!! God is amazing and He loves us so much.