1 John 2:27 But you have received the Holy Spirit and he lives within you, so you don't need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what he teaches is true--it is not a lie. So just as he has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ.
Forever I just didn't understand the Holy Spirit living inside of me, guiding me part of being a Christian. And when I did it took me a while to know when He was guiding me...I had to learn to listen and know it was Him speaking. Even now I have to remember to shut out everything else and listen. Sometimes the more the Holy Spirit tries to guide me, the more Satan crowds my mind with things that sound okay to think of feel. Sometimes the two are so close that either choice seems like it is okay. Sometimes I choose wrong!
What I am learning is that knowing the difference is where reading and learning my Bible comes in. The Holy Spirit will not tell me to do something that goes against God's word. I am learning to that sometimes I have to stop and call down God's grace to help me listen and to help me choose right from what I am feeling. I am also learning that Satan loves to use my emotions against me... telling me things like if I am hurt it is okay to pull away from those who hurt me. Which sounds okay ... God doesn't want us hurt... but God's word tells me that I am to love those who hate me...I am to pray for them. It tells me that it is easy to love those who love me! That is not walking away. Even tho it feels like the right thing at the moment. I am learning that the Holy Spirit lives deep withing my gut and that Satan wants to live deep within my head...and when I stop to listen I can even feel the difference of where that voice inside me is coming. I am learning that Satan likes to produce anxiety and worry because anxiety and worry settle in your gut muffling the voice of the Holy Spirit.
But most importantly I am learning that God has my best interest in mind always and that the Holy Spirit inside of me can always hear God, the Holy Spirit is a part of God living in me...so I can't make a wrong decision when I listen to the Holy Spirit. I am learning that my life is so much better when I hear the Holy Spirit on day one of a situation instead of day 3. But I am also learning that I am learning and that I do eventually hear the Holy Spirit... so day 3 is better than day 30 or not hearing Him at all...I just have to keep moving forward...and hearing Him on day 2 will be progress!! I am learning, and am very thankful that God sees my progress and knows that He is growing me. He forgives me when I mess up and celebrates my victories.
I can look back and be sad for the "me" that didn't understand the Holy Spirit... but I would rather look forward to the "me" who knows the Holy Spirit even better than the "me" today.